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Chapter Three | Of Love + Fear

“Without the ego, all would be love” From A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

I am writing this today, on a plane, embarking on the biggest adventure of my life! 6 months ago, I went on a week long yoga retreat to Bali and little did I know that it would turn out to be life changing. The universe had been sending me little signs already before then, but ultimately the conversations I’ve had on the island of the Gods have made lasting impressions and the pull from the spiritual realm could no longer be denied. 10 weeks after my return, I handed in my resignation to a job that I loved and worked so hard for to get in the first place. When you’ve spent all your working life in the corporate world, in a 40 hours a week, office based job which pays you a monthly salary, it is quite scary to leave that security behind and imagine a different world. Luckily I was reading A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson at the time and that was so incredibly inspiring. It says that ultimately nothing is real but love. Love for yourself, love for others, an all encompassing love that flows through you and pours out of you, if you let it. That is way easier said than done when our egoic minds are running our lives though. Imagine the thoughts and also initial reactions from close family members. “Why would you want to quit your job” “What if it doesn’t work” “Where will you go when you come back” “What if you can’t find another job with the same benefits?”

That’s just a taste of the fear-mongering that goes on inside our heads... The ego is not comfortable with the thought of giving up control and stepping out of a comfort zone. Because if you do that, if you take control of your own life, without the ego’s interference, then the ego is no longer needed - and don’t we all like the feeling of being needed? So in an attempt to stop YOU from following your heart, following your wildest dreams, it will churn out fear inducing thoughts and doubts like they are going out of fashion, in an attempt to save its own backside. Now, I respond to all these thoughts and doubts with love: “to be free, to grow personally, to experience more and deeper” “What if it DOES work? - OMG!” “Wherever it takes me” “What if I create one with even better benefits?” What if my work changes people’s lives for the better? Today marks the start of a journey, not just to the other side of the world, but a journey of ongoing discovery. New cultures, new ways of living, a simple life, a more connected approach in the here and now and so much more. So many people have said to me that yoga teacher training changed who they were completely, like there’s a ‘before YTT’ version of me right now, and there will be an ‘after YTT’ version of me in a couple of months. In between and along the way, I’ll be sharing impressions, thoughts, emotions. Trust the process, much love, Jessy

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